


I can't lose you (neither do I)

by tiffanytheweirdo



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Feelings, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Nightmares, Soft Ellie Bishop, Soft Nick Torres, post 17x14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:13:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23093143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiffanytheweirdo/pseuds/tiffanytheweirdo
Summary: It's been a week since Nick got discharged and it's also been a week since Ellie can sleep without nightmares haunting her.
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	I can't lose you (neither do I)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I am still not over 17x14 and here's another fix-it. NCIS writers please just give us Ellick together already!

It's been a week after his discharge and Nick's been staying at Gibbs' couch. Ellie would come over to see him everyday after work.  
Nick can feel something is wrong immediately when he lays eyes on Ellie.  
Ellie looks beyond tired when she walks into the house, takeout in hand.  
"Hey Nick, dinner's here" Ellie greets while putting down the food on the coffee table.  
"Great, I'm starving" Nick groans when he moves from his laying position to sitting up.  
Ellie is by Nick's side in an instance, helping him up with supporting hands on his back.  
Nick lets out a breath when he's settled into a comfy sitting position.  
"Thanks Ellie" He says, looking up to meet Ellie's eyes.  
But what he sees seems off. Ellie's eyes are red-rimmed, obviously exhausted. Her whole posture just somehow seems like she's making herself smaller.  
"Ellie? You okay?" Nick asks softly with a worried frown on his face.  
"Uh-- yeah, just long day at work" Ellie answers with her eyes darting around, avoiding eye contact with Nick.  
Nick decides not to push the matter, at least not yet.  
"Come on, let's eat first"

The pair eats their dinner in silence, which is uncharacteristic for them. Putting down his now empty plate, Nick is further convinced that something is definitely wrong when he spots Ellie picking at her half-eaten food absentmindedly.  
"Tough case today?" Nick asks. His low voice startles Ellie, making her jump.  
Putting down her fork, Ellie stops pushing her food around on the plate and remains silence, not looking Nick in his eyes.  
Nick sighs, he's worried about his partner. He can feel that Ellie has built her walls back up again.  
“Ellie, what’s wrong?” Nick reaches over to place his hand over Ellie’s hand, only finding it clammy and shaky.  
“Nothing, I’m just really tired” Ellie tried to brush Nick off. But the truth is she’s not okay, far from okay. She can feel her walls crumbling down, and Ellie knows they will break if she looks at Nick.  
"Ellie, can you look at me?" Nick squeezes Ellie's hand, trying to get her to look at him.  
It takes a while for Ellie to do so, but when she does, her bloodshot eyes almost break Nick's heart.  
"Oh Ellie" Just by the look in Ellie's eyes, Nick can tell what is going on.   
Nick’s soft tone say her name is all it takes for Ellie to break, for her to fall apart. The tears Ellie has been trying to keep at bay for too long finally fall.  
Nick is shocked for a second before he acts quickly to pull Ellie into his warm embrace, carefully not to strain his still-recovering injury.  
"Shush Ellie, it's okay, I got you" Nick whispers into Ellie's ear, rubbing comforting circles on her back.  
It takes a while for Ellie to calm down from all the crying, and once she does, exhaustion washes over her like a tidal wave.  
She pulls back reluctantly from Nick's warm embrace, which makes her feel safe, and wipes away the tears on her face with her hand.  
"I should head home" Ellie says weakly, feeling embarrassed by her own emotional outburst.  
"Ellie, you and I both know you're in no shape to drive right now. Stay here tonight, I can borrow you clothes" Nick is not letting Ellie to be alone tonight, not after what he just witnessed. He knows the incident is affecting Ellie a lot more than she lets on.  
Maybe it's the tiredness, maybe it's the loneliness, and maybe it's the fear that has been suffocating her for the past week, Ellie nods and takes Nick's offer.

Both agents remain quiet as they tidy up the living room and take turn getting ready for bed.   
Coming out of the bathroom, Nick stops by the linen closet to grab an extra blanket for Ellie. When he gets back to the couch, Ellie is already curled up and asleep.  
Nick crouches down next to the couch after gently tucking the blanket around Ellie and drops a kiss on her head.  
"Good night Ellie, sweet dreams"

Nick is woken up by someone murmuring near his head. Groggily opening his eyes, he sees Ellie trashing around slightly.  
"El?" Nick whispers her name to see if Ellie's awake.   
"No... please Nick... Come back" Ellie doesn't respond but continues to mumble in her sleep.  
This makes Nick become more alert. He recognizes Ellie's tone of distress, her brows scrunching up painfully, her forehead dotted with beads of sweat. She's having a nightmare. A nightmare about the hit.  
As a special agent of the NCIS, Nick comes to this conclusion quickly and easily.  
And he springs to action.  
"Ellie, wake up" Nick shifts onto Ellie's side of the couch, gathering her up into his arms.  
"Nick..." Ellie seems to sense his presence even still deeply trapped in her nightmare, she clutches at Nick's arm tightly.  
"I'm here, just open your eye and you'll see me" Nick moves his free hand to cup Ellie's cheek, stroking her tear-stained cheekbone.  
"Please... Don't leave me..."  
"I won't, I promise. Open those eyes for me huh?" Nick continues to coax, hoping to ease Ellie out of her nightmare.  
After a few more exchange of Ellie's murmurs and Nick's cooing, Ellie starts to come to her consciousness.  
"Nick?" Ellie is confused when she wakes. Why is Nick wrapped around her and why is she clinging to him?   
And it clicks for her. She was having another nightmare, again. The only difference is this time, she doesn't wake up all alone and scared.  
"Hey you" Nick lets out a breath he doesn't know he's holding, relieved to see Ellie finally awake.  
"I'm sorry" Ellie blurts out, feeling embarrassed for herself the second time tonight.  
"No, Ellie. I know this must be bothering you for sometime now" Nick's thumb, still on Ellie's face, gently swipes away a tear rolling down.  
Ellie opens and closes her mouth, she can't find the right words.  
"How long have you been having the nightmares?" Nick asks softly, although he kind of already has the answer.  
"Since you got discharged" Ellie answers honestly, not having the energy to cover it up anymore.  
Nick sighs, and pulls Ellie into a hug again. His heart aches at the thought of all those nights Ellie woke up alone.  
"I'm here. It's all over now" Nick pulls back after a while and says, looking into Ellie's eyes.  
"I know. I just..." Ellie pauses, swallowing the lump in her throat, "I just can't afford losing you Nick"  
The second half of the sentence comes out as a whisper but Nick hears it loud and clear.  
"And you won't" Nick says with every ounce of sincerity in his body.  
"You can't promise that"  
"Then I promise I will try my best to fight my way back to you every time"  
"Nick..."   
"Listen Ellie, I know we never addressed this... this thing between us, and I thought a lot in this past week. I really meant it when I said I risked my life to save yours. I can't promise you I will stop doing that because I won't and I can't lose you too. I think I'm in love with you, Eleanor Bishop"  
The small smile Nick has on his face dazes Ellie. She ducks her head and takes a moment to collect her thoughts.  
Nick waits patiently, still holding Ellie in his arms.  
"Those nights I slept at the hospital at your bedside were the only nights I can sleep without having nightmares, because I know you're there close to me and I could react quickly if anything happened to you. But when you got discharged and those nights? My mind just gave into my worst fear when I was asleep. Nickolas Torres, I think I'm in love with you too" Ellie looks up into Nick's eyes, expression still tired but the smile on her face? It makes Nick want nothing more but to kiss her.  
"Ellie? Can I kiss you?" Nick asks, suddenly feeling a bit shy.  
Ellie blushes at the question, and answers the question with action.


End file.
